Insults, Book Titles and Headlines That (Hilariously) Beggar Belief

Words are powerful.

They can carry big and serious ideas, communicated by icons such as Martin Luther King Jr, Malala Yousafzai or Winston Churchill.

But they can also carry a healthy dose of well-considered silliness. Think Amy Schumer, Spike Milligan or Eric Morecambe.

I’ve been reading a lot about the English language and humour recently:
‘English Is Not Easy – A Graphic Guide to the Language’ by Luci Gutierrez
‘English Humour for Beginners’ by George Mikes
‘Mangled English’ by Gervase Phinn
‘i before e (except after c) – old-school ways to remember stuff’ by Judy Parkinson
And it’s got me thinking about my favourite examples of wordplay…

Epic ways of saying someone is an idiot

Keep some of these handy for your next passive-aggressive or, if need be, just aggressive discussion.

Word Play: Insults

“One sausage short of a mixed grill”
“The hamster’s dead but the wheel is still turning”
“One sandwich short of a picnic”
“The lift doesn’t go to the top floor”
“One word short of a sentence”

Let me know how these go down at the next family barbecue or around the water cooler at work.

Book titles that actually exist

I can’t decide which of these is my favourite, but it’s between “nude mice” and “Exhibition Poultry”.

Word Play - Book Titles

“The Romance of Leprosy”
“Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice”
“Erections on Allotments”
“The Art of Faking Exhibition Poultry”
“Cooking with Poo”
“Handbook for the Limbless”

Definitely some titles to add to your read-on-the-tube-to-make-Londoners-uncomfortable list.

Real-life published headlines

I’d pay a lot of money to know which of these were deliberate and which were only accidentally amusing.

“Headmistress Unveils Bust”
“Spider Found in Toilet. Woman Relieved”
“Leopard Spotted In Park”
“Man At Death’s Door-Doctors Pull Him Through”

Bravo headline writers!

If none of these examples of outstanding wordplay made you laugh then you’re probably one word short of a sentence.

Got some weird and wonderful examples of wordplay to share? Let me know in the comments below to brighten my day.


About the author: Ellie Hubble

Ellie Hubble

Ellie is a creative strategist and writer, currently working as a copywriter for an eclectic mix of agencies and brands. When she’s not writing or cooking up ideas, she can usually be found exploring the city or escaping from it to the countryside.

You can follow her latest posts at Dazed but Amused and follow her on Twitter @ellie_hubble.

This article was first published by Ellie Hubble

1 reply
  1. Paul
    Paul says:

    Ellie, thank for posting. Great stuff!
    I loved, “Man At Death’s Door-Doctors Pull Him Through”!!
    Keep up the good work.

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