If companies had realistic slogans, what would they be?

If companies had realistic slogans, what would they be?

We recently came across a funny thread on a Reddit forum

It asked the question: If companies had realistic slogans, what would they be? Here we reproduce (with acknowledgement and thanks to the original contributors) some of the best suggestions.

flowers logo1 800 Flowers

The cheapest way to say you remembered your anniversary an hour ago.

 

adobe logoAdobe
An update is available.

 

air canada logoAir Canada
We’re not happy till you’re not happy

 

aol logoAOL
Still here

 

Apple
No corners thanks

applebees logo

 

Applebee’s
For when you’re too lazy to prepare your own frozen food

 

avg logo

AVG
Using all your processing power so you can’t run viruses!

 

Axe
Smell like a sixth grader.

 

barnes and noble logoBarnes & Noble
We Don’t Have it but We Can Order It, But So Can You, Online and Cheaper.

 

 

beats logoBeats by Dre
Buy These $20 Headphones for $200 Dollars Because You Make Less Than $20K a Year But Spend Half of It on Crap You Don’t Need

Buy these overpriced headphones because athletes wear them

 

best buy logoBest Buy
Here to serve you because you don’t know how to use Amazon

Not the best buy

See it in person before you buy it on amazon

 

comcast logoComcast
Because you have no other choice.

We really just don’t care about you.

Rewarding loyal customers with ever-increasing rates since 1963.

 

delta logoDELTA
Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive

 

facebook logoFacebook
Privacy is overrated.

We know more about you than you do

 

Google
We also know more about you than you do

 

Häagen-Dazs
Get up, hike up those sweatpants, and go buy more. haagen dazs logo

 

hot pockets logoHot Pockets
A different temperature every bite

 

Internet Explorer LogoInternet Explorer
Your number 1 browser for downloading other browsers

 

java logoJava
Hey bro, update me. Bro. Bro! (Just fucking with you, everything’s up to date.)

 

lexus logoLexus
A Toyota that will get you laid.

 

McAfee logoMcAfee
Please don’t uninstall

I accidentally overlooked a checkbox on a program I was installing a couple months ago, and now I have this shit. Ugh.

 

nike logoNike
Just buy it

 

nortono antivirus logoNorton Antivirus
Good luck trying to uninstall

We actually are the virus.

The “anti-virus” virus.

 

pandora logoPandora Internet Radio
More ads and less music with every update!

 

radioshack logoRadioshack
Why pay less when you can pay more.

 

reddit logoReddit
Stupid crap for morons

 

subway logoSubway
Just a little of that condiment you say?… okay here’s a gallon of it.

Tricking you into high calorie meals for years.

 

TAMPAX

We may not be #1, but we’re up there.

 

united airlines logoUnited Airlines
You’ll wish you would have walked.

 

walmart logoWalmart
Home of 53 checkouts with only 3 open!

 

winrar logoWinRar
I’m sure you’ll pay for me, someday.

 

Yamahayamaha logo We’re not sure what motorcycles and saxophones have to do with each other either.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANY IDEAS FOR OTHER REALISTIC SLOGANS? LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW…

 

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1 Comment

  • How about Facebook? It’s more like their slogan would be, “We know more about you than you do”.

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